I had to go back and reread this part twice.
...I am not a writer, I am a jumbled human being, hurting and laughing, just like you. The more I try to cover up my sores and blemishes, the more visible they become. Writing is how I am slowly sewing myself back together. I am self-medicating with writing. I think Tom Spanbauer said it best when someone once asked him why he writes. He said: “Because I cannot speak and cry at the same time.” No matter where you go, inside of every person there is a tragedy and a comedy fighting for center stage. This is why I try to be especially kind to people who are rude, because there is a real struggle at play in their hearts, and their body is only responding as any of ours would.
This is from an essay I wrote last year for Through the Third Eye called Casual Encounters With Craigslist Poetry. I haven't thought much about it since it's publication, but I found myself thinking about it today. I pulled up the old doc. file, dusted off the digital cobwebs, and read it for the first time in nearly a year. Some parts could use some work (my inner editor kicks in when I read old writing) but other parts felt strong and I remember exactly how I felt when I was writing it. Like listening to a song you haven't heard in awhile or rereading an old journal entry, reading the piece today reminded me of something important: my humanity. Who I am, who I want to be, and all the little pieces of life I caught in the net I am dragging behind me. There was something refreshing about, like looking at old 4x6 photographs in albums with those built-in plastic sleeve pages. It made me breathe easier—deeper. I changed a couple words here and there for clarity and put it up on my writing group's website: Gloomy Monday Morning. https://gloomymm.com/casual-encounters
The Age of Agility revision is coming along well. It’s taking longer than expected because I’ve been busy working 50-hour weeks. I’ve been finding time to revise in the two hours before I leave for work, during my one hour lunch break, and in the morning on weekends. There are some really great people I have been talking to, and our conversations have been keeping me going—thank you! My best guess for the release is May? Possibly June? It all depends on how well this revision goes. Thank you for the support and for hanging in there!
BOOKS CURRENTLY NEXT TO ME ON MY DESK:
I recently read The Hook by Donald E. Westlake (I’m still on a Lawrence Block and Westlake kick) and In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan. Both are excellent books.
Anything else? Yes. Everything. It’s a mess. I pull out books to reference constantly. Here are some pictures of the various states of my office during the writing of AoA.
After the revision is finished and it is approved and ready to ship, I have to move my office downstairs, but that’s a topic for another blog post.
Talk soon, friends. Updates will be sporadic as I am knee deep in the revision. Again, thank you for all the kind words and hugs!